A Few Good Reads

     As the summer draws to a close, I look back over all of the books I've read this summer-- 21 of them, to be exact. Some were meaningless novels, others fantastical adventure stories, and some still historical fiction. Out of all of them, there are five I would really recommend for a good read. Here they are:


Bloody Jack by L.A. Meyer 
     This exciting book tells the story of Jacky Faber, an orphan girl trying to survive on the streets of 19th century London. After the street gang she belongs to breaks up, young Jacky disguises herself as a boy, "Jack", and gets a job as a ship's boy aboard His Majesty's Ship, the Dolphin. Bloody Jack chronicles her adventures aboard the Dolphin as she attempts to keep her gender a secret, befriends the other ship's boys, and learns to fight like a real sailor. I would recommend this book for any girl who's interested in adventure, romance, and the art of sailing, and who can appreciate an independent female character.


Dragonfly by Julia Golding 
     In the mystical land of "The Known World", trouble is brewing. A power-hungry king has taken over the largest countries, and is planning to go after the only two nations left. The Blue Crescent Islands and the kingdom of Gerfal must unite to defend themselves against a common enemy. To do this, dignitaries from both countries arrange a marriage between Tashi, princess of the smallest of the Blue Crescent Islands, and Ramil, who is soon to inherit the throne of Gerfal. When the two meet, however, they hate each other instantly. How can formal Tashi from a strict island nation ever love (or even like) roguish Ramil, who is used to running and hunting all day in the Royal Forests? When the two of them are kidnapped by a mysterious band of travelers, however, they will have to learn to get along if they want to make it home alive. If you like fantasy and adventure mixed with  elaborate fight scenes, amusing arguments, and fascinating strategies, then this book is definitely for you!


Elvis and Me by Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
     This is the amusing story of the romance and life that Elvis and Priscilla shared. After purchasing Elvis and Me on our vacation down South, my entire family devoured this book, one after the other, in about a week. It's an interesting read that lets you into the personal lives of Elvis and his family. Although it's dreck, it's extremely good dreck full of scandal and passionate romance that will keep you reading. A must-read for all Elvis fans.


If I Should Die Before I Wake by Han Nolan
     If I Should Die Before I Wake is a story about a racist, white-supremicist girl Hilary who ends up in a Jewish hospital after a motorcycle accident. At first, she is unbelievably rude to all her doctors, criticizing everything they do simply because they're Jewish. But then, her roommate, an elderly Jewish woman named Chana, begins to show Hilary what the Holocaust was like via a mysterious power that has been passed down through Chana's family for generations. Ultimately, this power enables Chana to transport Hilary back in time so that she can see what the Nazis and WW2 were really like. Will Hilary's opinion of Jewish people change, or will she leave the hospital with her hateful opinions? You'll have to read the book to find out!


In the Shadow of the Bear by Regina Doman 
     In the book In the Shadow of the Bear, Regina Doman artfully retells the story of Snow White and Rose Red. This modern-day fairy tale, set in New York City, chronicles the lives of sisters Blanche and Rose Brier, and what happens to them when a "bear" (a mysterious stranger who has named himself after the beast) shows up on their doorstep, asking for a place to stay out of the cold. After they take him in, their lives will never be the same. If you like adventure, are interested in New York City, and enjoy fairy tales, you're sure to love this book.


     Enjoy the rest of your summer by curling up with any of these great books! And if you have any good reads you'd like to recommended, feel free to post the titles in the comments.


Thanks for listening,
Maggs :) 

Girl Friday

     Introducing....... washer of windows, organizer of files, mover of boxes, cutter of yarn, and cleaner of all things, Maggs, the amazing Girl Friday! Yes, that's right, folks, I, Maggs, sole authoress of Life as a Starving Poet, have finally, finally, found a summer job. Well, it's not really a real job, shall we say-- it's more of an I-help-out-doing-odd-chores-for-one-of-the-local-businesses-in-hopes-of-receiving-odd-gift-certificates-and-random-pocket-change sort of thing, but still. Coupons for free ice cream and a handful of quarters is better than nothing, which was my previous salary. 
     So you may be wondering, what exactly is a Girl Friday? Well, according to many on-line dictionaries, a Girl Friday is, "an especially loyal female worker who serves an executive by doing all sorts of chores that need to be done in an office setting." Yup, that sounds about right.
     Today was my first day on the job, and what a day. First things first, I didn't even know that I was going to be working today. It just so happened that my mom and I were out running errands, and she decided to stop by said local business and touch base, as we had discussed the possibility of the owner, whom I'll call Miss Boss, having me around for a couple of days to basically help with whatever was needed. As it turned out, they had a bunch of stuff that needed doing, and I was put to work right away. Among other things, I was assigned to the task of preparing 26 gift bags for a promotional event the company is doing later this week. For the previously mentioned bags, I spent 45 minutes cutting little slips of paper (business cards, if you will) and arranging them in precise stacks of eight, paper-clipping said stacks together, and depositing one in each bag. After that, I proceeded to cut out exactly 26 pieces of string, each 25 feet long, also to go in the bags (in case you're wondering, the string is for a game at the outing later this week). I did all this as the local "Hits of the Seventies" radio station played in the background. "Dancing Queen, only 17....." Let's just say I've heard enough ABBA to last me a lifetime.
     And that, folks, was my first day on the job. Here's to many more!




Thanks for listening,
Maggs :) 

What's on Your Bucket List?

     I have recently, as of about a month ago, begun to compile a list of 101 things I want to do before I die. Slightly morbid, yes, however, very important. As my teachers have always told me, "It's good to have goals. Goals make you a better person. Goals help you lead a productive life. Everyone should have at least a few goals." Etc, etc, etc. However annoying these statements may have been, they certainly worked on me. Teachers: 1 Student: 0
     My list is what I'd call, mmmmm, eclectic. It includes everything from traveling the world to kissing the Blarney Stone to graduating college. In addition  to these, I'd also like to beat my school's marching arch-nemesis, see the Northern Lights, fall in love, meet a ninja, go hang gliding, learn to speak Spanish fluently, and participate in a flash mob. And that's just the beginning! 
     So today I ask you, my readers, what's on your bucket list? Do you long to go snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef? Is it your heart's desire to learn Swahili? Are you wishing for a winning lottery ticket? Or maybe hoping to have kids? Either way, I suggest you sit yourself down and begin to write out a bucket list-- a to-do list of epic proportions, shall we say. After all, knowing what you want is the first step to getting it.


Thanks for listening and keep on wishing,
Yours truly,
Maggs :)          

The Art of Poetic Cooking

     During the summer, when I am left to my own devices for lunch, I am not one of those people who is content to eat the same peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day for lunch. No, I like to try new meals, and I find ideas for dishes everywhere. For example, the other day, I was watching one of my favorite movies, Napoleon Dynamite, and the scene above inspired me to create a new sort of lunch for myself. After days of variations, added ingredients, and experimenting, I have finally perfected my recipe:     

The Dang Quesadilla* 

Ingredients**: 

 canned corn

 canned black beans

 tomato sauce

 shredded cheddar cheese

 one regulation-sized tortilla

 sour cream

 chicken (already cooked and cut into bite-sized pieces)

 oregano

 salt 

 pepper

Instructions:

1. Put your regulation-sized tortilla on a plate
2. Sprinkle grated cheddar cheese on the regulation-sized tortilla
3. Put the chicken pieces on the bed of cheese 
4. Cover the chicken with beans and corn
5. Pour tomato sauce over everything
6. Sprinkle healthy amounts of salt, pepper, and oregano on the sauce
7. Heat in the microwave for approximately one minute
8. Remove from microwave (caution, may be hot) and put a spoonful of sour cream on top
9. Blend it all together, and eat the toppings until there is a small enough amount left that you can close the regulation-sized tortilla over it. Then roll the regulation-sized tortilla up and enjoy like a burrito with your favorite beverage on the side. 

And that, folks, is the art of poetic cooking. Enjoy!

Thanks for listening,

Maggs

*Life as a Starving Poet cannot guarantee that the Dang Quesadilla bears any resemblance to an actual quesadilla. If it does not meet your expectations, we are sorry. Also, we will not be held accountable for any accidents that occur because of eating, enjoying, or creating a Dang Quesadilla in your own home, the home of another, or some other random location. Lastly, feel free to experiment with the recipe, but know that as soon as you change it, it is no longer a Dang Quesadilla that you are creating, and therefore, Life as a Starving Poet won't be held responsible if the thing suddenly mutates on you and destroys Manhattan. Thanks again, and eat wisely, my friends!

** Because we prefer for our readers to experience the danger and adrenaline rush that comes with making decisions on their own, we have not specified the amounts of the ingredients to be used in this unusual dish.

Happy Memorial Day

     Up until today, Memorial Day had seemed like just another holiday to me-- I didn't really know the purpose, where or why it was started, or even what it was all about. Of course, I had guessed the holiday had something to do with remembering loved ones or some such thing, but it never really registered. Up until this year, Memorial Day had just been an excuse to miss school and a trip to my uncle's house for swimming, a picnic, and the celebration of summer birthdays.
     This Memorial Day, however, everything changed. Instead of heading off for a day of relaxation and family time, I stayed in town and participated in a parade with the STH (Small Town High) marching band. Now let me just take a moment to point out the fact that all this weekend, it was cool and rainy here in the Midwest. But today, the day when I had to march in an all black wool uniform, it was 90 degrees and very sunny, and extremely miserable. But the heat is incredibly beside the point.
     After the parade, everyone headed over to the town cemetery where the war memorial is located. The band played the national anthem, and then several veterans were invited to speak. They all said good things about today's holiday, but what struck me the most was the speech a veteran from Vietnam gave. She talked about how Memorial Day was in danger of becoming just another payed holiday or an excuse for a get-together with friends, when really, it had been started so that those who died fighting for America would never be forgotten. The speaker encouraged us all to never forget those who protected us and "stood in the gap between our people and evil".  
     In turn, I want to make sure everyone realizes what this holiday's all about-- not hamburgers on the grill or fireworks in the evening, but the men and women who gave everything they had so that we could enjoy our lives as we live them today. It's the sort of sacrifice that you can't, and shouldn't, forget. And hopefully, we never will.


God bless all soldiers and thanks for listening,
Maggs   

Farewell to April

Approaching Storm

Up from the pavement comes an acrid smell

While moisture rides in ev’ry drop of air

And the approaching, monstrous clouds do tell

About the torrent that will soon be there.

Now all is silent ’ere the coming rain

And absent winds have stilled the waiting land

The grasses in the meadow and the plain

Lie still under the storm’s gigantic hand.

Ev’ry creature lies waiting for the storm

While sunlight fades as clouds block sky away

Then raindrops fall in ev’ry shape and form

And lightning tangles with the trees in play.

Then all at once the rain stops suddenly

And left is a world fresh as sparkling sea.

Copyright MPK 2011, all rights reserved, unauthorized use is prohibited.

Happy May!

Thanks for listening,

Maggs

Happy Birthday, Little Blog!

     Happy Birthday, Life as a Starving Poet! You are now officially one year old, and I congratulate you (and myself) for surviving this long. So how did I do it? Well, here's the answer:
     Finding things to write about isn't always easy, and trying to write too often can have terribly chaotic results. Some of my worst posts come from when I was trying to write every day and was simply rambling to take up space and produce something. I have learned, however, that quality is better than quantity, which is why I rarely write two days in a row, unless I have something terribly amazing to talk about. 
     Most of my topics come from random bits of life that I notice. For example, I'll be sitting in class and a teacher will say something that sparks an idea and suddenly I have something to talk about. Or I'll be reading and a few sentences will catch my eye and remind me of a post I was planning to write and I'll take note of this idea and come home later to share it with the amazing readers of the internet (that's you, people. Smile for gosh's sakes!) And then sometimes, when I haven't written in two weeks and am feeling terribly guilty, I'll pull up a chair and sit at my computer with a blank page in front of me until I get and idea. It all depends, really, on the things I see and hear everyday. Of one thing I can be sure, though: as a starving poet, life really does get pretty interesting (sometimes) and I will always have plenty to write about. 


Well folks, that's all I have time for tonight!
Thanks for listening and may Life as a Starving Poet have many more successful years.
Maggs :)

Being Thankful

     Some people might look at the day I had today and call it quits, dive under the covers, and wait for Tuesday. I woke up at five a.m. (one hour earlier than usual) to make a before-school doctor's appointment and proceeded to be groggy for the next hour as I got ready for school. When it was time to leave, I stepped outside expecting a nice, if a little chilly, April morning. Instead I found snow and freezing temperatures. Then, as I was looking through my locker at school, I realized I had forgotten to take my biology worksheet home, meaning I would have to attempt to do it during my other classes before 9th hour bio rolled around. May I also mention that it was a Monday? After a crazy day at school, I came home with a worksheet full of nasty algebra, two tests to study for, a short paper to write for gym class, and the thought of yet another big project due at the end of the quarter hanging over my head. What a day. However, I'm not headed for bed just yet. Instead, I'm taking this opportunity to be just a bit preachy and hopefully send a message to some of you out there.
     Yeah, my life can be a little difficult sometimes-- piles of homework, overloaded schedule, and I don't always get along with everyone-- but compared to a lot of people, I have it extremely good. My immediate family are all healthy, I have plenty to eat, I have a good house and a warm place to sleep, and I live in a small town where it's safe to walk places and everyone knows each other. There are more things I'm thankful for (good books, Kit-Kats, comfy sweatshirts), but those are the big ones. 
     So today, instead of complaining and wishing things were different, I'm taking the opportunity to look at the best parts of my life. And that's when I realize things aren't so bad after all.


Thanks for listening,
and remember-- it 
could always be worse!


Maggs :)    

A Fairy Tale Piece of Reality

     As I have discovered by now, fairy tales aren't true. Not everyone can be a princess, fairy godmothers aren't always there when you need them, and not everything has a happy ending. However, fairy tales are rooted in truths. After all, there are some people who live in castles, men and women do occasionally fall in love, and once in a while, things turn out happily ever after. And if you can find one of these themes in our everyday world, take a chance, chase after it, and seize the moment because you might not see anything like it for a long time. Fairy tale settings are also based on elements of truth, and if you find one such place, take notice of it because hey-- it's cool.

One of the cleaner, less chaotic aisles in the bookstore. 

     That's what happened to me this weekend when my family and I drove into a nearby big city and discovered an amazing bookstore. After we had eaten lunch in a local restaurant, my parents took us down the street to a bookshop they had frequented in their college days. We stepped in side, and Oh. My. Goodness. The store was truly something out of a story book, although it wasn't exactly picture-perfect.
     You know the cluttered apothecary or the crowded shop in your favorite fantasy story? This bookstore has all of those elements, and more. The shelves are close together and filled to the brim with books. Boxes containing magazines, children's stories and historical fiction line the aisles. Scraps of paper litter the floors, and around each corner there's a footstool, originally meant to help patrons reach books, but now covered in stacks of dusty old tomes. The shelves lean in, providing an almost a claustrophobic feel to those who wander in search of a good read. The store rises for three stories, each one more chaotic than the last, and sells almost any book you can think of (and the ones you can't), if you can find it. All in all, the bookstore is a place that seems to have leapt right out of the pages of a novel. Or maybe, it's leapt right in. 
Thanks for listening,
Maggs       

Thoughts on High School

     High school is a crazy place. Everywhere you turn, there are bullies demanding lunch money, blonde cheerleaders with pompoms, and angry wrestlers duking it out in the hallways. Nerds run every which way, avoiding the scathing glares of the "in crowd" and druggies stand in corners, waiting for the teachers to leave so they can start smoking. Large football players argue loudly about last night's game while skater boys tromp around in their clunky shoes and baggy sweatshirts. 
     But really. How much of this is true? How much of this is just urban legend, made up by the classes before us and publicized by the media? Honestly, quite a bit:

Top 7 Biggest Lies of High School

• You'll use this when you get older: Every kid who has ever attended high/middle school in the United States has heard this one. And truthfully, they're lying. Unless you want to become a mathematician, you probably aren't ever going to factor trinomials again.
• Being in the band is extremely uncool: Biggest. Lie. Ever. I mean, yes, we band geeks are very geeky, but we're geeky in a fun, lovable way. If you seriously doubt this, I suggest spending some time with us-- maybe sitting in on a practice or attending a marching show? 
• Everyone goes to parties on the weekends and gets drunk: Well, yes, some kids do go and get drunk. But most of us? Yeah right. On Saturday nights, you can find me at home with a good book or having a mini-movie-party with a couple of friends. 
• Cheerleaders rule the school: Big, definite no on this one. They may be considered the coolest in their own social circles, but they don't usually take charge of the entire school and terrify the underclassmen.
• Lunch money= bully magnet: For the record, I have never witnessed anyone being shoved up against some lockers by a thug and having their lunch money stolen.
• Homework rules you life: In middle school, the teachers were constantly telling us that the homework level in high school would be insane, and we'd have to start forming gook working habits so that we would be ready to fulfill all of the learning requirements we were presented with in high school. In reality, going from middle school to high school is only slightly harder than going from 7th to 8th grade.
• You'll never fit in: For the most part, this isn't true. Yes, there are some kids who really don't fit in anywhere. However, almost everyone finds a group to hang out with-- the band geeks make friends with the choir kids and the theatre people, the math nerds and computer dorks chill together, and even the weird kids form their own cliques. 

Remember-- many of the things they say about high school aren't true, and for the most part, it's a pretty great place.

Thanks for listening,

Maggs  

  

To Write a Sonnet

     As the poetry-gurus among my readers may have noticed, my last poem was in sonnet-form, a way of writing a poem with a catchy rhyme scheme, a good rhythm, and a short-and- sweet length. For all you non-poetry-gurus out there, and also for those of you who don't have a clue, I have made a guideline for writing a sonnet in a relatively painless way.
     But before you (attempt to) write a sonnet, you should know the basic guidelines. A sonnet has to be 14 lines long. It is composed of three quatrains (short sections of poem with four lines each) and a couplet (two-line poem that rhymes) that ties the whole thing off. If you're writing in iambic pentameter (the usual format for a Shakespearean sonnet), each line has to have ten syllables, and the pattern of the syllables must go unstressed, stressed, unstressed, stressed, etc., until the end of the line. In addition to all this, the first line of each quatrain has to rhyme with the third line of the same quatrain, and the second line has to rhyme with the fourth line of the quatrain. 
     Now that you know the anatomy of a sonnet, here's how to actually write one yourself:

How to Write a Sonnet  

(AKA, poet-ing for the non-poetic)

• First, think of a topic. It should be something you feel strongly about or will have a lot of inspiration for. For example, if you just got a new puppy, you could try writing your poem about him. On the other hand, it wouldn't be a good idea to write about something you don't care about, such as the list of formulas you're required to know to pass your algebra final. 
• Second, you need to find a line that grabs the audience's attention. For example, Shakespeare starts his 18th sonnet (a love poem) with the line, "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?" Now, that might not sound very romantic to us here in the 21st century, but think about it: Ladies, if a boy came up to you one day and told you that you were so absolutely incredible you reminded him of a beautiful day in June, wouldn't that just melt your heart? 
• Now remember, this line must be 10 syllables long, and it must end in a word that you're willing to rhyme with in the third line of your first quatrain. Also, don't forget the syllable pattern: unstressed, stressed, unstressed, stressed.
• Next is the second line: this one's not too bad, because you don't have to rhyme with anything yet. Expand upon the first line a bit.
• Third and fourth lines are a little harder: you have to keep the syllable pattern, and you also have to rhyme. Try keeping a piece of scratch paper next to you so you can try out lines and make a list of possible words you could rhyme.
• In the second quatrain, expand more upon the first stanza (a stanza is a section of a poem, sometimes with its own set of rhymes). Shakespeare doesn't just tell his girl that she's like a summer's day, he also goes on to say things like, "thou art more lovely and more temperate" (meaning, you're as wonderful as a day in June and then some).
• Take a deep breath: you're almost there!
• The third quatrain is almost like a cliff hanger. It shakes things up, adds a little conflict and, "wait, what?!" to the poem. Shall we look once again at Shakespeare's 18th sonnet? To start his third quatrain off, he says, "But thy eternal summer shall not fade". Yeah, so what? Well, folks, he basically just told her that she's always going to be beautiful, even when she's old. Awww, what a guy!
• So for your sonnet about your puppy, if you talked about how sweet he was for the first two stanzas, you might want to mention the way he tries to eat everything in sight, or those puddles he leaves around when you go off without him in your third quatrain.
• Lastly, we have the couplet. Although it's not as long as the other stanzas, it's just as, if not more, important. Remember the conflict in the third quatrain? Well, this couplet resolves that, "wait, what?!" moment. It also ties up any loose ends in the sonnet and leaves the reader with a lasting impression of your writing. In my opinion, no one does this better than Shakespeare as he closes his aforementioned love poem with, "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see/So long lives this, and this gives life to thee."  If you were wondering how Shakespeare's girl could be pretty even in old age, the couplet sums it up perfectly. As to what it means, well, you're going to have to figure that out for yourself.

Thanks for listening, and good luck 

with your sonnets, my poetic friends!

Maggs

        

Dear Valentine:

A Vengeful Valentine's Day

A sonnet for my precious valentine:

the one who holds my heart and my esteem.

Will you be good to me, will you be mine?

Will you be kind as at first you did seem?

You are the best there is, or so I think.

And our love is as perfect as could be.

When I found you I found my missing link

'cause I am sure that you're the guy for me.

But what my heart says is not always true,

 and love is not as great as I first said.

Because, Valentine, when it comes to you,

I sometimes wish that you were cold and dead.

To you all I say: "Happy Holiday!"

(One that's better than mine was, anyway)

Copyright MPK 2011, all rights reserved, unauthorized use is prohibited.

What Are Our Kids Learning?

     While recently watching such Disney classics as "Toy Story 2" and "Cinderella", I began to wonder: what, exactly, are the young impressionable children of the next generation learning from such films? Well, here's a list:

Top Ten Things Disney Movies Teach Kids

1. Hiding inside a traffic cone is a perfectly safe way to cross a street
2. Ogres are like onions
3. Never trust your stepmother
4. Animals can talk (but that's not necessarily a good thing)
5. Sing-- whether you want your prince to come or you have to take some disgusting medicine, singing always helps
6. Death by monkeys-- a terrifying, and all-too-real, possibility
7. Laughter is an anti-gravity agent
8. Talking to clocks, trees, and granite statues is completely normal
9. Kissing is both a romantic pass-time and a life saver!
10. Pixie dust-- cheaper than airlines since February 5th, 1953*

     Just in case you've been curious about those Disney movies and whether or not they're appropriate for your child, you now have a list that will hopefully help you decide which parts of Beauty and the Beast to censor.

Thanks for listening!

Maggs

*Did you get that cultural reference, America? If not, search for Peter Pan on Wikipedia.

Superbowl Sunday

     The Big Game is today, and the evidence is everywhere. Here in the Midwest, most of us are rooting for the Packers-- after all, better a team from your region than from halfway across the country, right? However, not everyone agrees. Some truly loyal fans insist on wearing Vikings or Bears colors and jerseys today, but most people, true Packer fans or not, are decked out in green and gold in honor of our regional representative.
     As I said, the evidence of such a momentous event is everywhere. If there's a way someone can display their loyalty to the Packers, then believe me, I've seen it. From the alarming number of slightly hideous green and gold sweaters with footballs embroidered on them, to the special, "Green Bay Pizzas" with green and yellow peppers that stores are selling, I've seen it all. Allow me to elaborate:
     This morning, upon entering our local grocery store to do a bit of pre-game snack shopping with my family, the first thing I saw was a giant display made out of soda that spelled out, "Go Pack" in green Mtn. Dew cases. In addition to this, most of the people around me were showing their support by wearing anything remotely football related. I saw everything from festive green and gold beads to kids with Packer helmets drawn on their faces. People have gone crazy, buying green and yellow tortilla chips and any other foods they can find that bear the Packer colors.
     It's not just what I've seen, but what I've heard, too. In the aisles, people are making plans to meet up at each other's houses an hour or so before the game to get in the spirit of things before kickoff even begins. Slightly out-of-it moms confirm the game time with each other so that they won't miss the start of the, "Biggest Game of the Year" while they stock up on munchies so they won't have to leave their houses during half time. People of all ages are making bets with each other, declaring things like, "If the Packers win, you have to wear an Aaron Rodgers jersey all day Monday, but if they lose, then I'll wear your Vikings sweatshirt for the rest of the week!"  
     Yup, here in the Midwest, things are certainly crazy. But give us a break, ok? After all, the Superbowl comes but once a year!


Thanks for listening (and may the best team win),
Maggs    

The Guys

     Prince Charming-- he's handsome, gentleman-like, and an all around "great catch" for the princesses. Everyone knows who he is, or at least, we think we do. My question today is, "Who are the heroes of our love stories, and would any girl really want to spend a 'happily ever after' with one of them?" Well, let's take a closer look: 

The Heroes

Prince Charming

Story: Cinderella

Physical Description: Tall, handsome, charming, etc. Seems not to posses actual teeth; just one white block that shows when he smiles

Good Qualities: Yeah, I couldn't think of any, either

Bad Qualities: Doesn't have any personality, fails even to introduce himself properly* and/or make conversation, is bored with the rest of the world, and only likes Cinderella for her beauty (do you think if she showed up at the ball in her servant's clothes that he would've even looked at her?)

Heathcliff

Story: Wuthering Heights

Physical Description: Handsome, strong, and dark-skinned

Good Qualities: Seems to have found a way to look past Catherine's terrible personality, is a hard worker, and never gives up**

Bad Qualities: Insane. Insane. Insane. Insane. Likes revenge just a tad too much. Insane. Insane. Insane.

Edward

Story: Twilight

Physical Description: Handsome, sparkly, and golden-eyed

Good Qualities: Loves Bella a ton, despite her ditziness, and is very good at protecting her

Bad Qualities: Over-protective, drinks blood, would eat Bella if he didn't have a conscience, and possibly has no soul

Romeo

Story: Romeo and Juliet

Physical Description: Shakespeare doesn't really say

Good Qualities: Awesomely romantic, says sweet things that would make any girl love him, brave

Bad Qualities: Possibly twice Juliet's age, Montague (if you're a Capulet, that's a really bad quality), and has very little loyalty when it comes to girls*** 

     So I ask you, female readers of my blog: would you really want to marry any of those guys and live with them ever after? Personally, I would say no. But you've got to think about it for yourself.

Thanks for listening,

Maggs

*Did you know that in Disney's Cinderella, the prince doesn't even know her name?

**Did you know that it Heathcliff spends several years getting his revenge on everyone?

***Did you know that at the beginning of Romeo and Juliet, Romeo is actually in love with some other girl?  

Music and Poetry

     If you recall, in my post on January 13th, called, "A Promise to You All", I said that I would try to post at least 40 times in the year of 2011. If you have an excellent memory, you'll also remember that I wanted around 15 of those posts to contain poems. So here's to you, music/poetry lovers, and here's to you, people who want me to keep my promises: a poem, by my dear friend Ecat, who has also guest-written on the subject of Norman Rockwell and his art. 

The Journey of the Song

By Ecat

I shall leap through the air and rest in the cradle of your ear

I shall paint pictures across your face

 and lift you up through the smoke of emotions 

and fuse with the air you breathe

Though you be scared and falling through the weave of time

Though you embrace the world sliding through the arch of all that is you

You will find me in the most unlikely places

You will find comfort in me and absolutely fly on my wings

I can laugh and cry and scream as I float by

I will take you with me, so

Cry for those who cannot see my color, mourn!

Cry in despair for those who hear but do not open up!

For those who hear and scoff, or worse, 

For those who would hear; but twist and defile my simple beauties,

Pray, Let them taste me and know more than emotion running through a 

sieve

Pray, and hear me play the darkness that bursts forth into light

Copyright Ecat 2011, all rights reserved, unauthorized use is prohibited

Thanks for listening, and I hope you liked the poem!

Maggs

Riddles

     In fairy tales, there are often common themes: a princess who needs to be rescued, a commoner going above and beyond what is expected of them, true love's first kiss, quests, and so on. However, my favorite fairy tale tradition would be that of the telling of riddles. 
     Oftentimes, when a hero (or heroine) is faced with a quest, they are asked to answer riddles somewhere along the way. And so, when thinking of the epic riddle battle between Bilbo and Golem, or the Sphinx Harry Potter meets in the maze, I have to ask myself-- if someone gave me that riddle, what would I say?
     This is what has lead to my recent fascination with riddles, and so here are some original word-puzzles of my own. Good luck!


Sparkling and twinkling like the stars
but doomed on Earth to stay
until the sun shines bright again
and wears the tiny dancers away.

              Answer

One  holds more than most could ever know

showing hints, by using lines,

of where you ought to go.

                                                                                                           Answer

                                                                                                                 

Forming pictures in the blackness

absent in all forms of light

guiding those who've lost their way

true creatures of the night.    

           Answer

Thanks for listening!

Maggs

A Packing List

     Have you ever been about to depart on an adventure, but not known what to bring? Have you ever refused to help someone travel to faraway realms and battle magical creatures simply because you didn't know what sort of things you'd need on the trip? Well, your problems are solved, my friend. Here's a list of the ten best things to take on an adventure, as well as the many ways each item can be used:

Things to Bring on an Adventure

1. A letter opener with an actual blade

     Uses: Takes up a lot less space than a pair of scissors and can be used to cut things like thin rope, paper, and the mesh bags that oranges come in.

2. A towel

     Uses: Can function as a blanket, cape, turban, pillow, gag, short rope, shelter, etc.

3. A spoon

     Uses: Can be used for eating or as a weapon in dire cases. Also, if you dip the end in ink, it makes a crude, albeit usable, pen.

4. A book of original riddles

     Uses: If you're ever challenged by a sphinx, try to make friends with them by offering up an original riddle.

5. The neck and mouthpiece of a bass clarinet

     Uses: Works like a horn or bugle and can be used as a help signal or for entertainment.

6. Duct tape

     Uses: Can be used to tie up an enemy, fix any broken equipment, or prevent an extremely annoying companion from talking.

7. Rope

     Uses: Just in case your duct tape runs out, you can tie someone up with it. Also, you can use rope to swing to safety or lasso a horse if you need a beast of burden.

8. Extra clothes

     Uses: Just in case you meet an extremely attractive member of the opposite sex on your journey and you don't actually want to smell like you've been on an adventure all along.

9. A nice, sturdy bucket

     Uses: Can function as a cooking pot, a stepping stool, a chair, and, in extreme cases, also as a weapon. In addition, if the bucket is big enough, you can store all the rest of your junk in it.

10. Your best friend

     Uses: Keeps you company, provides you with wisdom, helps you abide by the "Buddy System", and, in a pinch, can be sacrificed to the trolls and other villains in place of yourself.

Disclaimer: These supplies are only highly recommended in a fantastical situation. Life as a Starving Poet will not be held responsible for any accidents that occur during your adventure as a result of bringing these items, or of not bringing anything else.

Thanks for listening,

Maggs      

A Promise to You All

     In the year of 2010, I wrote exactly thirty blog posts. These posts were extremely varied, ranging from poems about spring to rants about difficult computer classes. In addition to these thirty posts, I also showcased an original movie filmed by my dad and scripted by myself. 
     Because many long years of attending grade, middle, and high school have taught me that life is simply impossible without a few goals, I'm going to set some for myself so that Life as a Starving Poet can continue being life, and not death. 
     My first goal is to top 2010's post total and surpass it by ten (meaning, I'd like to post around 40 times in the year 2011). My second goal is to have at least 15 of those posts include or consist of one or more poems.
     And now, it is with a hopeful heart that I wish you a happy (albeit belated) New Year.


Thanks for listening,
Maggs 

Dante Revised

In his epic poem, "Dante's Inferno", Dante Alighieri described the seven circles of hell (there are actually nine, but that's beside the point) in disturbing detail. He explained the sort of sinner in each circle, the various tortures they were subjected to, and the famous people he met in each circle.
     Well, folks, today, I entered my own sort of hell in my web design class. Although the experience was truly horrible (I was this close to smashing the computer with the nearest sledgehammer), it provided me with the inspiration for this list:

The Seven Circles of Technological Hell

(AKA, the places where the technologically impaired go to suffer)

• Circle One- The Maze of Minor Malfunctions: Sinners are made to wander endlessly through a giant maze with only a malfunctioning GPS system for a guide.
• Circle Two- The Troubleshooting Trap:The damned are subjected to the average desktop computer's Troubleshooting Guide. Enough said.  
• Circle Three- The Crypt of Crashing Computers: Wrong-doers are given a computer and are told that if they can finish a project, they will be released to purgatory. However, the computers crash about every 15 minutes, so this is virtually impossible.
• Circle Four- The Labyrinth of Lazy Loading: Sinners are told that at any moment, they will be released into a labyrinth and left to wander forever. However, this labyrinth is still loading.....
• Circle Five- The Flash Forum: Evil-doers are made to hold an internet forum on the Flash computer program, which is possibly the most complicated and mind-bogglingly annoying thing I've ever worked with.
• Circle Six- The Biting Bytes: Creatures called bites are sent after sinners to bite and torture them for all eternity.
• Circle Seven- The Grave of Glitches: Wrong-doers are set to work on fixing supposedly "minor" glitches which, in reality, are so incredibly difficult not even the nerdiest computer-geek could repair them.

          So there it is, folks-- The Seven Circles of Technological Hell. Hopefully, you will never enter any of these circles, and if you do, well, gook luck.

Thanks for listening,

Maggs