A Packing List

     Have you ever been about to depart on an adventure, but not known what to bring? Have you ever refused to help someone travel to faraway realms and battle magical creatures simply because you didn't know what sort of things you'd need on the trip? Well, your problems are solved, my friend. Here's a list of the ten best things to take on an adventure, as well as the many ways each item can be used:

Things to Bring on an Adventure

1. A letter opener with an actual blade

     Uses: Takes up a lot less space than a pair of scissors and can be used to cut things like thin rope, paper, and the mesh bags that oranges come in.

2. A towel

     Uses: Can function as a blanket, cape, turban, pillow, gag, short rope, shelter, etc.

3. A spoon

     Uses: Can be used for eating or as a weapon in dire cases. Also, if you dip the end in ink, it makes a crude, albeit usable, pen.

4. A book of original riddles

     Uses: If you're ever challenged by a sphinx, try to make friends with them by offering up an original riddle.

5. The neck and mouthpiece of a bass clarinet

     Uses: Works like a horn or bugle and can be used as a help signal or for entertainment.

6. Duct tape

     Uses: Can be used to tie up an enemy, fix any broken equipment, or prevent an extremely annoying companion from talking.

7. Rope

     Uses: Just in case your duct tape runs out, you can tie someone up with it. Also, you can use rope to swing to safety or lasso a horse if you need a beast of burden.

8. Extra clothes

     Uses: Just in case you meet an extremely attractive member of the opposite sex on your journey and you don't actually want to smell like you've been on an adventure all along.

9. A nice, sturdy bucket

     Uses: Can function as a cooking pot, a stepping stool, a chair, and, in extreme cases, also as a weapon. In addition, if the bucket is big enough, you can store all the rest of your junk in it.

10. Your best friend

     Uses: Keeps you company, provides you with wisdom, helps you abide by the "Buddy System", and, in a pinch, can be sacrificed to the trolls and other villains in place of yourself.

Disclaimer: These supplies are only highly recommended in a fantastical situation. Life as a Starving Poet will not be held responsible for any accidents that occur during your adventure as a result of bringing these items, or of not bringing anything else.

Thanks for listening,

Maggs