A Promise to You All

     In the year of 2010, I wrote exactly thirty blog posts. These posts were extremely varied, ranging from poems about spring to rants about difficult computer classes. In addition to these thirty posts, I also showcased an original movie filmed by my dad and scripted by myself. 
     Because many long years of attending grade, middle, and high school have taught me that life is simply impossible without a few goals, I'm going to set some for myself so that Life as a Starving Poet can continue being life, and not death. 
     My first goal is to top 2010's post total and surpass it by ten (meaning, I'd like to post around 40 times in the year 2011). My second goal is to have at least 15 of those posts include or consist of one or more poems.
     And now, it is with a hopeful heart that I wish you a happy (albeit belated) New Year.


Thanks for listening,
Maggs 

Dante Revised

In his epic poem, "Dante's Inferno", Dante Alighieri described the seven circles of hell (there are actually nine, but that's beside the point) in disturbing detail. He explained the sort of sinner in each circle, the various tortures they were subjected to, and the famous people he met in each circle.
     Well, folks, today, I entered my own sort of hell in my web design class. Although the experience was truly horrible (I was this close to smashing the computer with the nearest sledgehammer), it provided me with the inspiration for this list:

The Seven Circles of Technological Hell

(AKA, the places where the technologically impaired go to suffer)

• Circle One- The Maze of Minor Malfunctions: Sinners are made to wander endlessly through a giant maze with only a malfunctioning GPS system for a guide.
• Circle Two- The Troubleshooting Trap:The damned are subjected to the average desktop computer's Troubleshooting Guide. Enough said.  
• Circle Three- The Crypt of Crashing Computers: Wrong-doers are given a computer and are told that if they can finish a project, they will be released to purgatory. However, the computers crash about every 15 minutes, so this is virtually impossible.
• Circle Four- The Labyrinth of Lazy Loading: Sinners are told that at any moment, they will be released into a labyrinth and left to wander forever. However, this labyrinth is still loading.....
• Circle Five- The Flash Forum: Evil-doers are made to hold an internet forum on the Flash computer program, which is possibly the most complicated and mind-bogglingly annoying thing I've ever worked with.
• Circle Six- The Biting Bytes: Creatures called bites are sent after sinners to bite and torture them for all eternity.
• Circle Seven- The Grave of Glitches: Wrong-doers are set to work on fixing supposedly "minor" glitches which, in reality, are so incredibly difficult not even the nerdiest computer-geek could repair them.

          So there it is, folks-- The Seven Circles of Technological Hell. Hopefully, you will never enter any of these circles, and if you do, well, gook luck.

Thanks for listening,

Maggs

  

A New Face

     Here at STH, I'm taking a webdesign class. Today, because I have finished building that website, I am here, with something new to show you. You see, part of this class is about how to design a logo, which I have done. So here I am to share with you the "new face" of Life as a Starving Poet*:

     Image Copyright December 2010, MPK.

Unauthorized use is prohibited. All rights reserved

Yup. So there you have it folks- the official logo for this site. I hope you like it!

Thanks for listening,
Maggs

Dream Era of the Nerds

     Today, I would like to dedicate this post to all you nerds/geeks out there. Whether you spend your spare time practicing for the ACTs, taking computers apart and putting them back together again, or marking time to the songs on the radio, I want to congratulate you. You have made it- welcome to the dream era of the nerd.
     Ever since Bill Gates, who was possibly the nerdiest kid on the planet when he was growing up, nerds have become more respected. Yes, little Billy G. was picked last for dodgeball games in gym. Yes, he had dorky glasses fixed with tape (probably).Yes, he most likely spoke completely in computer jargon (if you know what jargon means, good for you- that's ten geek points. Congrats.). But now look at him- he's one of the richest men in the world. People use his products every day! In fact, right now, I'm typing these very words on my Microsoft software (thanks, Bill). 
     Because of Mr. Gates, nerds today have it better than anyone else out there. Yeah, it's still not completely sociably acceptable to be a band nerd or a math geek. But we're getting cooler as the years progress. It is now considered relatively cool to be a drama dork, and choir is becoming more normal as we speak (write. read. type. produce ATP molecules. whatever. And by the way, if you know what ATP is that's 15 geek points. If you can tell me exactly how it's made, that's 5 more geek points.).
     So here we are, nerds, geeks, and dorks everywhere. We have finally arrived in the Dream Era of the Nerd. So what are we going to do with it? Are we going to sit at home on our butts and play Zelda? Well, yes, we are. It's part of being a video game fanatic, which is a key part of being a geek. But aside from Zelda and the other afore-mentioned geeky pastimes, we are going to do something that geeks for centuries have feared to do- we're going to be ourselves.
     So, my geeky friends everywhere, I encourage you! Wear that saxophone neck-strap with pride. Rejoice when you beat the final boss of your latest video game. Get rid of those contacts and wear your glasses joyfully. Use words like "fortnight" in public. Carry your AP Calc book without shame. Find isosceles triangles in modern architecture and point them out to your friends. Read in public. Feel free to brag about the new robot software that you just designed. Correct people's grammar in public. Talk about how fun your algebra homework was. Outsmart everyone around you. Read through the adds at stores and tell the manager when you find a copy-editing error. Point out the teacher's mistakes. Admit that you watched Star Trek all weekend. Doodle maps of Middle Earth on your homework. If someone asks where your dream vacation is, tell them of how you long to journey to Magrathea. And lastly, be grateful that you are who you are. 
And now, geeks everywhere, I must bid you adieu. Au revoir, sayonara, auf wiedersehen, ciao, goodbye. 
Thanks for listening,
Maggs     

Only in the Midwest

     As those of you who've read my profile know, I live in the Midwest United States. Now if I do say so myself, it's a pretty awesome place. So here's for all you Easterners, Westerners, Southerners, and people from other countries: a description of the nation's bread basket from a girl who's lived there all her life.
     Things in the Midwest are nice, and a little quirky. Here, kids come to school in blaze orange to celebrate opening week of deer season. Here, temperatures around 10 degrees fahrenheit and three-foot drifts of snow are considered normal, and just another part of an average winter. Here, there's almost more fields of corn than there are people. All in all, the Midwest is a friendly place where the classic small town still thrives, and even dominates, the public scene.
     However, there are some negative stereotypes about us that I would like to disclaim. First of all, we're not hicks. None of the states in the Midwest area allow people to marry their cousins, and most people around here think that's creepy, anyways. Also, we don't have stupid accents. Ever listened to, "Da Turdy Point Buck" by Da Yoopers? You know the silly way they talk? Well I don't know anyone who speaks like that. Another thing- not everyone in the Midwest is a farmer. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a farmer- it's a hard, honorable job only for those who are willing to work constantly, and to run the risk of a bigger farm stealing their business. But I would like to point out that not all of us grow corn and raise cows as a living. There are other jobs around here too, you know. 
     Things here can be a little wacky and a little countrified, but the Midwest is still a great place to spend some time, or to grow up.
Thanks for listening,
Maggs  

Take a Look

     Hello, dear readers. Once again I come to you from STH (that's Small Town High, in case you'd forgotten). Today I discovered something interesting- another blog. I realize, of course, that there are tons of other blogs out there. But the blogs I stumble upon are always in a different language, or about how to homeschool five kids all at the same time, or about something that never seems to make any sense. But today I found a blog that isn't about homeschooling, and that is in a language I understand. It's called, "I wanted my title to be unique, but this is it :)", which, rather ironically, turns out to be a very unique title for a blog. 
     The author (kk2326) hasn't said much about herself except for the fact that she's a girl in high school, which is definitely something I can identify with. So far, she's only written two posts, but they have proved to be very interesting, truthful, and funny. so go check it out. The website is http://www.kk2326.blogspot.com/  Enjoy!
Thanks for listening,
Maggs

New Places, New Ideas

     So today I come to you not from my normal spot (a wonderful Mac in my basement) but from an entirely new place- a classroom at my high school. Now what high school that is, I won't say, for personal safety reasons. Instead, I'll call it Small Town High. Now here at STH, I'm sitting in my computer classroom, typing away. And no, I'm not breaking the rules, sneaking around behind the teacher's back or anything. I just want to let you know that this post is fully authorized, fully allowed, and fully permited.
     And now that that's over with, I suppose I'd like to take the opportunity to tell you a little bit about STH, and my life here. This post is really aimed at my readers from other schools, and especially at my followers from other countries (wether they're actually interested in this blog or not remains to be seen, but still, I like to think that I have a few European or Asian readers) so you can see a little bit of what my life is like.
     First of all, I'm at school for about eight hours every day, seven of which are dedicated to learning (yay). I'm being taught everything I will ever need to know, such as how to design a webpage and the word for pencil sharpenner in Spanish (it's el sacapuntas, by the way. Coolest. Word. Ever.). My classes are interesting enough, but plenty of exciting stuff happens in the halls, too. I have been a part of everything from mass band geek-outs, where we all stand around and hum the show music and practice our visuals, to intense debates about morals where everyone shouts their opinions until the teacher tells them to quiet down (how we get into such discussions, I'm sure I will never know).
     School is interesting, as an overall expierence, and I'm glad to be here for right now.
Thanks for listening,
Maggs