The Ultimate Harry Potter Quiz

Today I introduce to you a brilliant writer, the master of quizzes, the authority on all things HP, none other than my dear sister, Lucy. And at the same time, I also bring on a new era for Life as a Starving Poet- the era of the guest-writer. So without further ado, I give you......Lucy!

Hey ya'll fools- this is my epic Harry Potter Quiz,

made just for you (not really, I just say that

to make you feel extra special). So, do you think

you're awesome enough? Take the quiz, and

find out.

The Ultimate Harry Potter Quiz

By Lucy

Level One

Any idiot should be able to answer these!

1. Who is the first person to tell Harry

that he is a wizard?

A. Vernon Dursley.

B. Albus Dumbledore.

C. Rubeus Hagrid.

2. The second book in the HP series is:

A. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

B. Harry Potter and the Secrets of Azkaban.

C. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Chamber.

3. Harry's worst enemy at Hogwarts is:

A. Neville Longbottom.

B. Draco Malfoy.

C. Luna Lovegood.

4. Which position does Snape teach at

Hogwarts in books 1-5?

A. Defense against the dark arts.

B. Charms.

C. potions.

5. What do people call Voldemort when they

don't want to say his name?

A. He-who-must-not-be-named.

B. Lord Voldie.

C. What's his face.

Level Two

If you call yourself a fan, you should be able to figure this out.

1. The name of Mr. Crouch's house elf is:

A. Winky.

B. Blinker.

C. Kermit.

2. Proffesor Slughorn puts together parties

for his favorite students, whom he calls:

A. Sluhorn's Super Students.

B. Sluggie's Gang.

C. The Slug Club.

3. Ron accidentaly swallows a love potion in

book six, causing him to fall in love with:

A. Hermione Granger.

B. Romilda Vane.

C. Parvati Patil.

4. In book two, Harry, Ron, and Hermione

brew the polyjuice potion where?

A. In the forbidden corridor on the 3rd

floor.

B. In the chamber leading into the school

kitchens.

C. Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

5. What is the main spell Harry uses in the

first task of The Triwizard Tournament?

A. Confundus Charm.

B. Accio.

C. Batbogey Hex.

Level Three

Only really smart people know these answers, so I can't expect any

of you to figure these out.

1. In book four, Cedric lets Harry use the

prefects bathroom. What is the Password?

A. Mimblus Mimbletonia.

B. Pine Fresh.

C. Lemon Drop.

2. A Basilisk is made when you:

A. Inject a snake with Dragon's blood.

B. You cross a Komodo Dragon with a python.

C. Hatch a Chicken's egg under a toad.

3. When Harry moves into Dudley's second

bedroom, there's a cage that used to hold a

parrot. Why is it now empty?

A. He traded it for a real air rifle.

B. He threw it out the window after it

tried to eat one of his computer games.

C. He used it to attack a kid that

tried to beat him up, so his parents

got rid of it.

4.How do you get into the school kitchens?

A. There's a picture of a man eating toast

in the entrance hall. Poke him in the

stomach and the portrait swings aside

to reveal a door.

B. Whisper "Butter" into the face mask

of the suit of armor on the left side

of the staff table in the Grand Hall.

C. There's a picture of a bowl of fruit

in a small room off the great hall.

Tickle the pear, and a door handle

will appear.

5. In the first book, Vernon Dursley gets a

postcard from Aunt Marge saying that:

A. She's sick because she ate a funny

whelk.

B. Her bulldog, Ripper, attacked Colonel

Fubster the other day

(Ripper was provoked, of course).

C. She is going to be in Majorca on

holiday for the next fortnight.

Congratulations! You did it. How you did....

well, you'll have to wait until tomorrow

to find out.

Thanks for listening to my sister, and good luck on the quiz!

If you liked the quiz, hated it, or have any ideas or

corrections that would make it better, feel free to

share your thoughts in a comment.

Maggs

A Masterpiece

If you think back to several posts ago, you may remember a poet named Lorine Niedecker. Ever since that post was written, my dad and I have been working on a video tribute to Lorine. Take a look:

Lorine Niedecker

Feel free to post a comment with your thoughts on the video:)

Thanks for listening!

Maggs

The Doldrums

By the beginning of July, people begin to get a bit bored with summer. All your plans in early June to, "go outside more often" or "read more books than ever" have either fallen flat, or have already been carried out. For younger people like me, you start to stay inside and watch more T.V. For the adults out there, you no longer plan elaborate meals on the grill or family picnics for dinner after work. You turn to frozen pizza- at least it keeps the kids happy, right?

This state of tiresome existence is called The Doldrums. It is not a pleasant place to be, but most of us end up there eventually. You can only do so much with your summer, after all. For all of those out there suffering in The Doldrums, here's something to take your mind off of it:

The Tom Swifty. Here are a few by David Lubar, from his book Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie:

• "Who turned off the lights?" said Tom dimly
• "I lost my wrists," Tom said offhandedly
• "I'd like a hotdog," Tom said frankly
• "Stop this horse!" Tom said haltingly

Get it? Here are a few of my own:

• "I think your clarinet's a bit flat," Tom said tunelessly.
• "That plant needs watering," Tom said dryly.
• "You sound like a broken record," said Tom repeatedly.
• "I've lost all of my clothes!" Tom said barely.

Thinking up Tom Swifties is a great way to beat The Doldrums. Give it a try- you can even post your best ones on this site in the form of a comment.

Thanks for listening,

Maggs

A Taste of Heaven

In the middle of Door County lies a place called Chambers Island. It is both an island literally and figuratively- yes, this is possible. Not only is it located in Lake Michigan,making it a real island, but it is also an island in the sense that it is apart from everything else. It is a sanctuary in the middle of the hustle and bustle of tourist-trap Door County. It is a place to go for relaxation and spiritual enlightenment.

On Chambers Island there is a place called Holy Name Retreat House, where I spent my past weekend. It is a Catholic retreat house that holds three-day silent retreats focused on God and finding calm

within. You may think that a silent retreat sounds rather boring and lonely, but it is just the opposite. The silence is there so that you have a chance to listen to what God is telling you, and so that you can think more clearly.

The relaxing ways of Holy Name retreat House have made such an impression on people that they have called it a

"truly blessed and holy place"

declared it, "beautiful and wonderful", and even referred to the experience as, "...coming home to be refreshed."

Not only does the island provide you with an exceptional chance to relax, but it also has many trails for walking or biking and a lake you can swim in whenever you want. There is also an historic light

house about two miles from the retreat house that is periodically opened to the public, and an old foundation of a hotel that you can explore. Benches and swings are placed all over the grounds of the retreat house, providing you with a chance to sit and view

the various birds and animals that can be found on the island.

If you're looking for a place to "get away from it all", then the Holy Name Retreat House on Chambers Island is most definitely the place for you! If you would like to visit the Holy Name Retreat House, visit their website for more information.

Not surprisingly, the quiet atmosphere on the island provides endless inspiration for poetry. Here's a poem I wrote during a rain storm on the island:

Tree on a Stormy Day

Tree on a stormy day:

Leaves mix in more than breeze.

Branches sway and bob.

The twigs, the fingers, snap and crack.

The roots dig into the ground.

Moss clings to the edges of the trunk-

which is slippery and smooth.

Far above these mosses,

birds, squirrels, and other creatures

huddle and hunker down.

this is the tree,

as rain showers it,

wind gusts it,

and many, calling it home,

find its branches safe and sound.

Copyright MPK 2010, all rights reserved, unauthorized use is prohibited.

Thanks for listening!

Maggs

Excessive Parenting

Are you suffering from the deadly and all-too-common Excessive Parenting Syndrome? Even though I am not a mom (or a dad), I have been familiarized with the top ten symptoms of this syndrome. They are as follows:

1. Singing the Barney theme song under you breath constantly
2. Measuring time according to when your oldest child was born (let's see... I got this job three years after Joey was born, so I've been working here for nine years)
3. Having the children's menu for at least two of your local restaurants memorized
4. Knowing the phone number for the nearest pediatrician by heart
5. Grabbing the nearest person's hand and saying,"hold on to Mommy while we cross the road" whenever you come to a street with more than six cars on it
6. Knowing all the words to at least three Dr. Seuss books by heart
7. Having the Story Time schedule for your local library memorized
8. Timing how long it takes you to get a crabby, tired four-year-old dressed every morning
9. Frequent use of words such as naughty, big boy (or girl), and sweetie
10. Referring to yourself in the third person constantly (Mommy would like you to go put your toys away or Daddy is trying to cook dinner now and he can't help you with that)

If you find yourself doing more than two of the above, you may be suffering from Excessive Parenting Syndrome and it is highly advised that you call 1-800-mykidsaredrivingmecrazy right now*.

Thanks for listening!

Maggs

*Note: Life as a Starving poet will not be held responsible for any onsets of hypochondriac-ism or any miss-diagnosis on the behalf of the reader. We also cannot guarantee that you will be provided with any helpful information whatsoever when you call the above number.

Top Ten Reasons Why....

Let's face it. We all (at least those of us under the age of eighteen) wonder why we have to go to school. And a few nights ago, while procrastinating an algebra assignment, I came up with a list of reasons why. Here you go:

The Top Ten Reasons to Go to School

1. Someday, you could go on Jeopardy and win big because of your eighth grade history class.

2. You'll need to be able to tell your grandkids how difficult school was when you were young if they ever complain about their classes.

3. You need to know something to impress the in-laws.

4. Two words: truancy officers.

5. Learning how to count will give you the ability to not look like an idiot compared to the rest of society.

6. Can you say, "gets all the best bargains on Black Friday because she's been calculating percents since the seventh grade"?

7. Calculus is so fun, and if you don't learn your rational equations, you'll never get to give it a try!

8. It "builds character".

9. Everyone loves memorizing all the dates of the battles in World War One, especially since nobody knows why it actually started...

10. And last but not least, the only reason that summer is any fun is because it's time away from school. So if there was no school, we would have summer all the time and everyone would be really sunburned, bored to tears, and entirely fed up with watching re-runs of Little House On The Prairie.

Thanks for listening!

Maggs

The Council of Wise Sayings

Today I discovered something very important- they're wrong. Now, you may be thinking, "Who? Who's wrong? Has she gone crazy?" No, my dear readers, I have not gone crazy. I have simply had an epiphany, shall we say. You might also call it a realization, a sort of eureka moment, or a sudden understanding. In this recognition of truth I discovered that certain people are wrong. Now who these certain people are, I can't exactly tell you. That is because I do not know who they are. You see, the people who I am referring to are those who came up with such sayings as, "what you see is what you get."

As I have recently found out, what you see isn't always what you get. Many times people will surprise you by revealing something totally unexpected about themselves. For example, maybe that burly football player in your high school English Class was really a very talented actor at heart. Maybe that goth chick you know is, in actuality, a great fan of classical music. Perhaps the starving artist at the end of your block really hates to paint, and is only there because his mother makes him. You just never know.

I would also like to point out that these people (not the goth chick and company mentioned above, but the people who came up with all these sayings in the first place) often contradict themselves. On the one hand, they state that what you see is what you get. But on the other hand, these are the same people who have told us time and time again not to judge a book by it's cover. So which is it, oh Council of Wise Sayings? Are we to look at the outside of things and make a decision depending solely on the appearance, or are we supposed to look deeper within and find the true meaning of something? Personally, I think that you have to make your own choice because it all depends on the situation. It's up to you, whatever you decide, but remember: they're wrong too, sometimes.

Thanks for listening,

Maggs