The Case for Pirates

Alright everyone. The time has come to answer that burning question: which are cooler, pirates or ninjas?

I personally am a total pirate fan. Pirates are way cooler! They can function when intoxicated, they don't have to follow any rules, they have a ruthless sense of justice, and they say cool stuff that no one can understand (such as "shiver me timbers"). I understand that they also have more fun than ninjas. (It's true.)

However, some people out there have obviously been put under the ninja association's mind- control powers because they believe that ninjas are, in fact, way cooler than the truly awesome pirates. When pressed about why they think this, ninja lovers always point out that ninjas would win in a fight. Even I must admit that this is true, but nevertheless! Winning isn't everything. Therefore, pirates are way cooler.

Thanks for listening!

Maggs

P.S. I have been informed by a secret source that some people have completely dropped the questions of pirates vs. ninjas and turned to a different battle: which are cooler, elves (as in Lord of the Rings) or wizards (as in Harry Potter)? Tomorrow I'll publish the results of a peer-wide survey regarding this important matter. For now, keep your doubloons polished, my pirate friends!